My Husband "Subvet" says that when our first son "Sonshine" was born the sun rose on our world, when our second son "Gator" was born the sun laughed and when our daughter "Sugars" was born all the flowers bloomed. That says it all.

"Life is not about waiting for the storms to pass...
It's about learning how to dance in the rain."

Your mind is the garden, your
thoughts are the seeds, the harvest can either be flowers or weeds. — William

Thursday, July 5, 2007

The Phone Rings.....

I answer, "Gator wrestling, shows every 10 minutes, tickets at the door."
this is followed by dead silence. Apparently this was the first time my pastor had called me on a silly day.

This reminded me of all the silly answering machine messages and "hello"s I've used through the years.

There was the old standard "Grand Central Station, how may I help you?" which had a prospective college rep stuttering about dialing the wrong area code when I was a high school senior.

The "Albertson's Pharmacy, can I help you?" to which my mother replied "No it's not!" (I was working for Albertson's Pharmacy at the time...)

And my personal favorite (that Subvet won't let me use) on the answering machine "Hello, hello. Are you there? Hello? I called you up to say hello. I said hello, can you hear me Joe? Oh No. I cannot hear your call, I cannot hear your call at all. This is not good, and I know why. A mouse has cut the wire, goodbye." That's from Dr. Seuss' One Fish Two Fish Red Fish Blue Fish.

There've been many, many more...but alas through the years they each fade be replaced with something that fits my mood for the day. And, just in case you thought I was uniquely odd. I called my Grandad's house today. Got his answering machine.

It said, "[Johnson] mule barn...well, I guess that old mule got the gate open and now he's let them all out. I'm out in the field trying to round em all back up again...leave me a message."

Guess the fruit don't fall far from the tree after all.


Anonymous said...

When I worked for the State Library I was informed via a memo that I was to answer the phone: "Department of Administration, Division of Library Archives and Public Records, Library Extension Service, this is Goober [not my real name], how may I assist you." A little long, but consider we have 8 incoming lines... so, it sounded like: "Department of Administration, Division of Library Archives and Public Records, Library Extension Service, this is... would you please hold. Put that call on hold and pick up another line: "D-D-D-Department of Ad-aa-ad-dministration, D-Di-Di-Division of Lib-li-library Archives and P-pu-pu-ublic" by this time the caller is laughing because it sounded the Porky Pig was answering the phone. Government work!

Anonymous said...

I have one now I'm dieing to put on my voice's about chances and if I don't call you back........your one of the chances.

Diane@Diane's Place said...

When I was growing up one of our favorite answers (before answering machines were even thought of) was: Mabel's bar and grill, Mabel speaking! And a personal favorite: Big Bertha's wh*re house, Bertha speaking!

This was many years before we got in church and got religion, you understand. ;D

Pen of Jen said...

We used to say "Gibson's Mortuary, you stab them, we'll slab them!"

I know it is awful, yet all of us kids said it way too much...and like you if there was a pause, or a hangup..we knew we had a first time caller.

Mind you that was a feather in our cap!

My mom, a Catholic(who didn't raise us Catholic) wanted us desperately to answer the phone like she did(8 brothers and sisters)

"Hello, this is heaven, which angel would you like to speak to?"...

it failed as my 3 brothers changed it to "this is hell..."

Fun Post!

MightyMom said...

love all of these!! Keep em coming, I'm taking notes!!!

Carole Burant said...

LOL such a fun post! Oh yes, I do remember all those sayings when answering the youngest brother's favourite one to use has always been.."Stinky's Pool Room, Stinky speaking"! lol xox

Infantry Dad said...

Ya wanna really have some fun, find something that makes a tone like that on a answering machine, and after, "please a message after the tone", make a tone, then a few seconds later say "just kidding, leave a message after the next tone". Depending on how sick, ( I can't spell sadistical) you are this can go on for some time.
Got a hoot out of the post..

MightyMom said...

Glad I'm not trying to pick a winner here!! These are all so funny! Thanks Pea and Infantry Dad.