My Husband "Subvet" says that when our first son "Sonshine" was born the sun rose on our world, when our second son "Gator" was born the sun laughed and when our daughter "Sugars" was born all the flowers bloomed. That says it all.

"Life is not about waiting for the storms to pass...
It's about learning how to dance in the rain."

Your mind is the garden, your
thoughts are the seeds, the harvest can either be flowers or weeds. — William

Tuesday, July 31, 2007

Cars and Girls

OK, let me start by saying that I am a girl.

In fact, I couldn't argue if you wanted to say I am a girly girl.

When I was about 10 I guess I asked my "crazy" Grandaddy what made a car go. The man didn't skip a beat. He told me EVERYTHING. From the electrical switch that energizes when you turn the key, to what spark plugs do, to the basic mechanics of the internal combustion engine including why we have to put gas in the car, to why we put air in the tires to what a muffler does and why the tailpipe goes from the muffler all the way to the end of the bumper instead of ending at the muffler.
I mean, do YOU know why we have brake fluid?? Or what a master cylinder does??

Next I asked him (can you see a pattern here?) what made a train go. He was a switch man for Union Pacific Railroad for 40ish years. That day I learned about steam engines, electric engines, diesel engines. You name it. I spent a goodly part of my childhood sitting at his feet listening. Asking questions and listening.

When I was 16 my Dad gave me my first car. A 1981 Mazda GLC 323 5 speed. I named him Bozo. Before my Dad let me drive away in the car that first day there were a few things I had to do. 1) Rotate the tires. 2) Check ALL fluids 3) Change the air filter 4) Analyze the radiator fluid for antifreeze level 5) Demonstrate how and when to use the jumper cables (did I mention this was in 1992?).

See, in my family no one ever thought twice about teaching a girl all about cars. I had no idea this was unusual till I went to college. I went to Baylor University in Waco, Texas. Land of the Baylor Bow-head.

When I was a Sophomore there was this car in the parking lot across from my dorm that kept having the alarm go off. Stupid thing would bleat all night long. One day I'm pulling into the lot from work and there's a girl there at the car looking lost. I mean LOST. I ask her if she needs help. She says that her alarm must have been going off again last night because now the car won't start. Oh, I have jumper cables, you want a jump? Do you know how to use them?? (AHA, Bow-head alert!) Yes, pop the hood and I'll fix you up. OK, now her car looked a little different inside from mine. I don't remember what the make/model was but let's just say it wasn't a 13 year old Mazda. The battery appeared to have some sort of a shield over it. I couldn't for the life of me figure out how to get the thing off. I asked Ms Bow-head how to get the shield off. "I don't know, when I call the tow truck, they always tell me to sit in the car while they fix it, then when they say so I start it up." WHAT??? I told her in no uncertain terms that when the tow truck showed up this time she needed to STAND OVER HIS SHOULDER and learn how to jump her own dad-gum car!!! And, by the way, your alarm is too stinking sensitive to be in a busy dorm parking lot all the time, take it in and have it turned down. "They can do that??"

In my Junior year there was a car fire in that same lot. Apparently another Ms Bow-head had just returned from a trip home. While she was home her parents had taken the car in for minor repairs. During the 3 hour drive back to Waco she noticed puffs of smoke drifting up from under the hood, but figured it must be ok since they'd just got it out of the shop. She got to Baylor, parked in the lot, got out of the car and as she was walking away from it the engine exploded.

So, ladies, in memory of my recently departed Grandaddy I beseech and implore you. Find out what to say to a car repair man who wants to sell you Halogen Fluid for your headlights. AND TEACH YOUR DAUGHTERS ALSO!!!

During my session with the shooting instructor he told me that he had taught self defence at Texas Women's University. He said they covered everything from handling of firearms to changing a tire. Because any situation that puts you at the mercy of an unknown stranger is dangerous.

Anyway, that's my rant for today.

Monday, July 30, 2007

Wooo Hooo!!!

In the past 2 days I've been tagged twice! It's my first time to get tagged, so I'm looking forward to it. This is one of the tags, the other from Pen of Jen I'll have to take some time on and will do sooner or later.
OK, Glenn over at Ballseye's Boomers tagged me. If you do nothing else, go over there and read how and why his blog got that name. It's a FANTASTIC story!!

OK, on to the tag stuff.


01. Post the rules before you give the facts

02. Players start with 8 random facts/habits about themselves

03. People who are tagged need to write their own blog

04. At the end of your blog you need to choose eight people that you tag and list their names. Don't forget to leave them a comment, telling them they are tagged, and to read your blog.

OK, let me think here, I'm gonna challenge myself and make it non-kid oriented AND something I haven't discussed online before......

1. In my 32 years on this planet, I've moved a total of 13 times so far. That doesn't count going back and forth to Waco each school year for college.

2. I hate white walls. Each bedroom and my living room are painted a different color. My house was referred to as "The Easter House" by one friend of the family (he's an artist).

3. I can do most handcrafts, including: quilt, sew, needlepoint, cross stitch, crochet, embroidery, & latch hook.

4. For most of my life, the gifts I give at Christmas have been handmade. This started due to poverty in my childhood and is something that I've chosen to continue in my adulthood.

5. I still believe in Santa Claus. I may post on the story of why at another time.

6. I had a very lonely childhood, I would imagine Jesus sitting at the foot of my bed and have long conversations with Him. Come to think of it, I still do. He frequently laughs at me. (as in, "you silly child")

7. I am by nature a pack rat. This does not go over well with my sub sailor husband who wants to throw everything he can away as soon as possible.

8. About 2/3 of the books my children now have were mine as a child, some were my father's.

OH wait, that last one was kid oriented. Let me try again.

8. I can't draw to save my life.

OK, now to tag folks, I'm gonna pick people that I don't already know a lot about. Those like Diane that have 100 things memes in the sidebar are out :-)

Are We There Yet?
Infantry Dad
No Apology
Pen of Jen
Smoldering Embers in a Mohawk Campfire
The Cook Shack
The Zoo

As I was finishing up this post I got a call saying that my last living grandparent (I've had 8) has died. This is the "crazy" Grandaddy who sent out all the funny emails that I've occasionally posted. Needless to say, arranging the trip to Shreveport and the care of the 3 kiddos will take up a good bit of my time this week. So, say a prayer for our family, Grandaddy (if you're so inclined) and our travelings. And know that my online presence will be scattered at best.

Ecclesiastes 3:1&2 says "There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under heaven: a time to be born and a time to die."

I guess it's now time for the old "[Johnson] mule barn" to officially and permanently close.

May God bless an eccentric old man who passed on a quirky sense of humor without which I would not know any of you because my blog would be dull dull dull!

Sugars and her Great Grandaddy at her baptism in May.

Saturday, July 28, 2007

T-T #2 answer


appropriate to the period just before dinner.
Random House Webster's College Dictionary

We had a preprandial fit yesterday.

Someone tell me if I'm not using it right. I'm a nurse, not an English major.

Of course my next question is "What is dinner?" You may be surprised that not everyone has the same answer to that question.

What are you teaching your children?

Many of you commented on me writing back to to charge me for the book they'd already refunded. I think I said that when I asked Subvet what he wanted me to do he fed my own words back to me. It's true. The title of this post has been a mantra for me for a long time. Longer than I've had children for sure. Working in the Pediatrician's office I would frequently wonder about parents. Here are a couple of examples that I walked away from asking myself that question.

4 year old boy is in for well-check up and shots. Now for those who don't remember, the 4 year visit is the absolute worst in the entire 18 years that we see the kids. It's a very long visit as we have to check hearing and vision as well as all the normal stuff. And it is the only time that a kid gets 4 or 5 shots at the same time, after they're old enough to know what's coming. It's also the last time you get that many shots at once...unless you join the military. Well, shots are (of course) the last thing done before the family leaves. This one not quite cooperative, rather precocious boy had apparently reached his limit (and ours). We had to chase him around the room to get him on the table for the shots, then, as we're giving them with mom leaning across his trunk and holding his hands (SOP) he yells at the TOP of his lungs. "Get the F... off of me!!!" to his mother. Here's the important part. She did nothing, she said nothing. Now, it's a good thing that I don't live in California, where they're trying to outlaw spanking, because if MY boy (who's now 3 1/2) yells anything close to that to me. As soon as the nurses are done I'll be yanking him up off that table and whipping his butt for him real good. But at the time I was childless and I just shook my head and thought, what did she just teach her son? It's OK to say anything to anyone when you're in a stressful situation??

I get a phone call from a mom wanting her kindergartner to be seen by the MD. OK, why? This is 2-3 weeks after the start of school. Her school just hired an additional teacher and has taken kids from each of the existing classes to make up a class for the new teacher, paring down the size of each of the existing classes. Her little darling girl was the only one from that particular class chosen to go to the new teacher's class. Now, mom is apparently on the rampage. She thinks it's SOOO UNFAIR that her little darling has to change classes "after she just bonded with the old teacher and now she knows none of the kids in the new class." Mom has had shouting matches (she told me this) with the principal over this as well as the school counselors. Darling girl doesn't want to go to school (go figure) and is complaining of stomachaches every morning. Mom wants the child examined by the MD to prove that it's psychological and to have the MD write a note saying that it's detrimental to the child's health to change classes and she must stay with the teacher and kids "she's already bonded with." What do I say? Sure, whatever, make an appointment. But what do I think?? REALLY LADY, What are you teaching your daughter? Are you teaching her that things do not always go according to how you expect and that every change has the potential to bring new and exciting things into your life? Are you teaching her that adaptability is an asset in this uncertain world? NO, you just taught her that if you stamp you foot long enough and scream loud enough to enough people, not to mention holding your breath till you turn blue, you'll get exactly what you want. Now, as a mom I understand her sadness for her child being placed in a difficult situation.

But (and this is my point) every situation that our children face is a "teachable moment." It is up to us as parents to not only recognize the moment to teach, but also be very mindful of what lessons we are teaching.

Friday, July 27, 2007

That Girl Done Flipped Out!

Well, Ms Sugars will be 5 months old next Thursday and today 2 things happened that have me shouting for joy.

1) She now has a tooth! Bottom right cuspid (aka canine or eye teeth). Yup you can feel it justa poking up outta there. Bad mommy didn't even realize that she was teething till she had a 100.1 temp today and I went investigating the cause. I just thought she was fixin to grow and was fussy from being extra hungry. "Mighty Mom" indeed! Fooled me!

2) She rolled from tummy to back!! "This may not seem very important, I know, but it is so I'm bothering telling you so." (name that author)

The boys are both delayed. (No I don't blame vaccines, I've already had that conversation twice today.)
My #1 prayer for this girl is that I won't have to worry about her development. I want to have 1 child who just clicks along like they're supposed to. Until you've had a special needs child (or two) you can't imagine how lucky parents are whose kids follow the usual guidelines. Well, she's a little over a month premature, so we're starting off behind the 8 ball here. I was asked if she'd rolled over at her 4 month checkup and my heart sank....she's ALREADY supposed to be doing that???

However, when I looked honestly at the whole picture I realized that Subvet and I are to blame.

YUP, we SPOILED her!!

She spent all her time either in our arms or the swing, mostly in arms. So, I have spent the last 3 weeks putting the child down. For some reason this is hard. I guess it's paid off since she flipped tonight!

And no, her eyes aren't red, they're the same dark denim blue that mine and the boys' are. (Subvet's are a light sky blue)

Also, I'd like to take a moment to tell you about a particularly huge blessing that I've received. When our friends and family found out that I was pregnant with a girl, clothes literally started showing up on our porch. I have 3 friends with daughters who brought over a TON of hand-me-downs and (of course) the grandmothers went nuts, along with several other gifts. Last night and this morning I went through all of her clothes and pulled out the 3-6 month stuff so that I could wash it and move her on up. Subvet and I have not yet bought her any clothes at all. She started in Preemies, then Newborn, then 0-3 and now 3-6. Let me show you the enormous amount of generosity I'm talking about here.

Do you see those 2 overflowing clothing tubs?? That's just in 3-6 month size!! There are still 2 tubs PLUS a diaper box that're full of clothes in larger sizes in her closet. As I told Subvet, this girl ain't gonna go necked any time soon!

Seeing as how we're not millionares, you can imagine that our finances do get stretched tight at times. (Can you say diapers?) We have truly been blessed by this outpouring of love and generosity. And I thank God for it.

Show and Tell

Kelli is hosting show and tell friday again

So, here's mine.

OK, so everyone who knows what "Sliders" are raise your hand.

Wait, I'm counting.

For the rest of us, sliders are frozen pre-formed hamburger patties. So called because (at least on Submarines) they are so greasy they "slide" off the bun. Now, I make a mean burger, secret family recipe we call "Norman burgers" after one of my deceased grandfathers. But every once in awhile (more often than not these days) I just want something quick and relatively easy that the kids like to eat. Enter our favorite brand of sliders.

It's true folks, we've tried many different brands, these are the best.
For one thing, we like the shape of the burger

Notice that only 2 can fit in my skillet at a time. These suckers are bigger than the bun, that's after they're cooked.

OK, here we are ready for fixins. Yes, they are sliders, notice the paper towels?

Now, while I'm fixing the plates, the child that I spent 3 months trying to teach to say the word "go" is calling out instructions from the living room.

"Want mustard on it! Want the RED ketchup, Momma, the RED ketchup! (when he saw me putting Worcestershire sauce on them) Want lots of pickles...and tomatoes...and RED ketchup!!! Want cheese, and RED ketchup!!"

Nevermind the fact that I've been making his hamburgers the same way for 3 years now...

He must have been looking forward to those hamburgers folks, he started saying grace before he ever reached the table.

Another successful meal. :-)

Thursday, July 26, 2007

Thesaurus Thursday #2

Here we are again at another Thursday. I'm glad I started doing this and the Show and Tell Friday because now I actually have some idea what day it is!! I decided to make this a little more fun I'd give some clues. Also, if someone can tell me how to use the phonetic letters (the schwa e, the vowels with lines over them etc) I'll let you know how to pronounce the words too. For those of you new to T-T I give a word from the dictionary, you guess (ie make up) a meaning for the word and on Saturday I'll post the real meaning. Hey Subvet, no cheating allowed!!!
Here we go.


This word is an describes a certain time of the day. A time when the 3 guys in my house all get VERY cranky.

Too Funny!

I don't know how people come up with all these silly tests but this one was cool!

And that's Ms. Lombard to you!

Your Score: Carole Lombard

You scored 14% grit, 28% wit, 38% flair, and 33% class!

You're a little bit of a fruitcake, but you always act out in style. You have a good sense of humor, are game for almost anything, but you like to have nice things about you and are attracted to the high life. You're stylish and modern, but you've got a few rough edges that keep you from attaining true sophistication. Your leading men include William Powell, Fredric March, and Clark Gable. Watch out for small planes.

Find out what kind of classic leading man you'd make by taking the Classic Leading Man Test.

Link: The Classic Dames Test written by gidgetgoes on OkCupid Free Online Dating, home of the The Dating Persona Test


Subvet, believe it or not, has Seastories. After 22 years in the Navy, he probably has hundreds of them. I've heard most, if not all, of them. He very kindly agreed to type up this one for me. It's 1 of my 2 absolute favorites. In the 9 years I've been with Subvet he's told this story in my hearing about a zillion times and I still die laughing! So enjoy, and remember, it's TRUE!

Thanks sweetie!


"Larry" was a Chief Petty Officer who came onboard the Daniel Webster back in 88. He could have walked off a recruiting poster, always had a sharp and squared-away uniform, mirror-bright shoes, trim, physically fit and about 6'2" with a no-nonsense "don't mess with me" look about him. He was black with the deep skin tone of someone who probably didn't have too many white boys in the ancestral woodpile. All in all he cut an imposing figure.

Everyone has a skeleton in their closet though. His came out in a few months.

Seems he grew up in the slums of Brooklyn, NY and was no stranger to rats. He had an almost phobic hate of them.

So, Larry got assigned to his first sub and went to Naples, Italy. When you pull into the pier area of Naples you'll always wonder what died. Turns out that’s the normal smell, Naples is a pit. Nice looking city, very scenic, but still a pit. Lots of vermin.

While standing duty as one of two sentries on the topside of the sub one night Larry noticed that the garbage from the nearby dumpster had spewed over to the vicinity of the brow (portable gangplank looking structure used for access on and off the sub). The rats in the dumpster were making their way through the garbage, after a while they began walking on the brow. Soon they began crawling over the brow toward the two sentries. The other sentry was armed with a .12 gauge shotgun, Larry was carrying a holstered .45 caliber pistol.

Seeking to deter the rats, the other sentry took the butt of the gun and tried to sweep the rats back. The rats of Naples are aggressive, they immediately attacked with one of them landing on the chest of the sailor. Showtime!

He ripped the rat off his chest, reversed the shotgun and began blasting the vermin. Crouching beside him, Larry began laying down a field of fire with his .45, ejecting one clip and loading the other in as fast as possible. The dead and dying littered the brow. After running out of cartridges, Larry ran to the microphone for the ship's comm box on the portable stand by the brow. Keying the mike to the below decks announcing system he cried, "Rats on the pier! Send up more ammo!" as his compadre continued blazing away.

After they'd stopped firing (no ammo) and the sailors below decks judged it was safe the duty officer came up and surveyed the carnage. Our intrepid heroes were immediately relieved of their firearms and taken off duty. Something about starting an undeclared war on the local wildlife and needlessly expending ammunition. At that time the loss of any cartridges/shotgun shells required a full, detailed report on how and why. Bet THAT one made for an interesting reading!

For some reason this story followed Larry to every boat he was on thereafter.

Wednesday, July 25, 2007


Here are a few I can think of. Some are regional and (as Subvet and I found out) have different meanings in different parts of the country. Add your favorite ones in the comments.

Burning the candle at both ends
(very busy)

Talking out of both sides of your mouth
(contradicting yourself)

Being out of pocket
(being unreachable for a period of time) - this is a Southern meaning

Raining like a double-bladdered cow peeing on a flat rock
(a famous Subvet-ism)

Farting like a Blue-nosed mule

Drunker than Cooter Brown

Dead as a door nail
(Dickens does a whole monologue on why a door nail would be considered dead in the intro to A Christmas Carol)

Useless as tits on a teddy bear
(another Subvet-ism...I'm thinking MILITARY)

Neatest thing since sliced bread
(I still haven't figured out what's so neat about sliced bread!)

Cute as a button
(buttons are cute???)

Full as a tick

Busier than a) a one armed paper hanger or b) a one legged man in a butt kicking contest

Snug as a bug in a rug
(got a shoe??)

Sounds like you're a)wrestling alligators or b)juggling chainsaws right now
(very busy)

I've got to pee like a racehorse
(having seen a horse pee...I can understand this one.)

I'll be there, Good Lord willin' and the creek don't rise.
(I'll make every effort to attend)

Dumb as a box of rocks.

Couldn't pour pee out of a boot if the instructions were written upside down on the heel.

Hello, I'm so glad for you to see me today.
(common South Louisiana greeting)

Not the sharpest knife in the drawer
(not smart)

Now let's see what you come up with. I don't mind off-color humor..but let's try not to be just plain tacky ok?

MightyMom's Believe it or Not!......

enlarge and enjoy.

Tuesday, July 24, 2007

Dance, dance, dance.

I have a good post for today, but as it's taken me almost 4 hours to catch up on reading all of YOUR blogs that I've missed while reading THE BOOK; I'm just gonna put up this video of me and Subvet dancing. Turn up the sound folks, that pianist stole the show in my book!

HAHA, if you believe that's us, I've got property for ya.
I stole that one from Cookie. Gave me a smile so I'm passing it on.

Monday, July 23, 2007

hey folks,

At 8pm last Sat I emailed asking for the book and a refund. At 03:15 Sun morning I received an email apologizing and stating that I would receive a refund. At 16:00 I got another email confirming the refund. Now you folk know it was MY FAULT for not looking in the stupid mailbox. I'm telling you this because mistakes happen, things do not always go according to plan. Or, as Subvet says, Murphy's Law is ALWAYS in effect. A business should not be judged by a mistake, rather what was done to correct the error., IMHO, behaved admirably and should be recognized for their promptness and the ease of resolving this issue (or non-issue as it turned out). You will find below a copy of the email I just sent to I highly recommend using a company with this level of scruples. Seems like most companies want statements signed in triplicate in blood before issuing a refund of any type. This was a refreshing change!!

"I appreciate your prompt refund without hassle. However, I must tell you that I found the book in my mailbox at 9pm. I hadn't thought it would fit in there and hadn't checked the mailbox since the afternoon. There is every chance that the book sat in the mailbox for several hours and was not, in fact, late. Please go ahead and charge me for the $17.99. You can tell the merit of a company by how easily they resolve problems. This is my first time ordering from, but I assure you it won't be my last!"

The Meme Answers

Well, Subvet's finished THE BOOK, I'm still reading....
But, if there's one thing I've learned as a Mom, it's to PLAN AHEAD. So fortunately (for you) I typed up this answer post before THE BOOK was released. And no, I didn't pay more than $18 for the book.
Here are my meme answers.

1) I've been able to read music longer than I've been able to read English.
The story goes like this. My mom taught voice and piano in our home when I was a child. At the age of 3 I (probably feeling jealous) took her by the hand to the piano and would not let her go until she taught me "something." So she started teaching me to play the piano at the age of 3. I can read music as second nature as you can read this silly blog.

2) I sing Tenor
Nope, I sing Soprano...high, first soprano.

3) I qualified for the Concealed Handgun License the first time I'd ever been shooting.
Yup, I have the green man target to prove it. It was actually my 2nd time on the range, but the first time the trigger of my revolver was so stiff I couldn't fire the stinkin thing. The 2nd time I went to the range was when I met up with an instructor who fixed the trigger. I did not grow up around guns and have had NO experience so Subvet and I thought starting with a trained instructor would be the smartest way to go. I must say it felt good when after putting 3 shots of my first 6 either in the X or the 10 ring (the other 3 all went in the 9) he said, "Well, you don't need me anymore...." (For you who know, it was at 7 yards)
Now I just have to save up the $300 to take the class....
On a related thought, I've been asked by a couple of people upon learning that we now have a gun in the house "Would you really shoot someone?" My answer hasn't wavered. I HAVE THREE BABIES TO PROTECT. As my instructor pointed out (he also teaches self defense) egress from my home if invaded ISN'T good. I will have to stand and fight and I will do ANYTHING wait, EVERYTHING NECESSARY to protect my babies. Also, we bought the exploding bullets that (supposedly) won't go through walls so anyone who enters my home without my permission better be prepared to die. And yes, I do answer the door gun in hand. I'll tell you the reasons for all this home defense in another post.

4) I play 2 instruments
Piano, as I've said from age 3; although not as consistently as I'd have liked
Flute, started in the 3rd grade. Why flute?? Because my mother said to, she thought it'd be easier to carry around....well, in the case it's great....but YOU try sticking your arm out like that and marching around a field for hours on end.

5) I met my husband online
Back in December of 1997 (long before the world of "blogs") He and I were both in a "Friends of Bill W." chatroom. He wanted female input on how to pick up this girl Donna, I offered input. The rest I guess, is history. He moved to Texas from Connecticut April 1, 1998 because it was cheaper than paying his phone bill.

6) I haven't bought a loaf of bread in 5 years.
The only reason we bought that loaf is because we'd just moved into this house and the bread machine (along with everything else) was still packed. We started making our own bread about 7 years ago and have worn out 2 bread machines since.

7) I've never bought baby food.
I make my own baby food. I'm not a health nut and couldn't care less about "organic" crap. I breastfeed, make bread and make baby food all for the same reason. IT'S CHEAP.

8) I can nurse a baby and type at the same time.
If I couldn't this blog would never get written.

9) I haven't watched anything on television since the 2004 Presidential Debates.
After Sonshine was born we decided to cut out TV. Well, all except for Football. Then 2 things happened. We realized that even if all you watch is the game you still have to sit through NASTY commercials and Janet Jackson did the Super Bowl halftime "show." And what a "show" it was. So we stopped watching anything. We did hook it back up to see the Presidential Debates as we deemed that IMPORTANT.
Oh, and since I was asked. I let the kids watch a couple (as in 2) hours of DVDs a day. Either Little Einsteins or Veggie Tales.

10) I was blond until adulthood.
There may be some pictures to prove it, but most of my childhood pictures were lost in a fire in 1997. I started life bald. At about age 2 my hair came in bleached white blond. It has steadily darkened as I've gotten older. Finally being totally brunette about age 20. Now it's going grey.

11) I have 7 entire Dr. Seuss books memorized.
Hop on Pop, The Sneetches, The Sleep Book, Fox in Socks, Dr. Seuss' ABC, One Fish Two Fish Red Fish Blue Fish, & Green Eggs and Ham.
You would too if you were around my kids for awhile. Fun parlor trick: Hand someone a copy of ABC and tell them to randomly call out a letter. I can tell you exactly what's on each page for every letter. Really freaked out one friend of mine who didn't believe me. :-) Of course, it comes in handy when Sonshine wants to read The Sneetches and I need to cook dinner. I just tell him to sit and turn the pages and I'll "recite" the book. He loves it'll.

So there you have it.

Now, in true public school fashion I will name no winners or losers, but will post the recipe for all to enjoy.

Mighty Mom's Meatloaf

2 lbs ground beef
1/2 c milk
2 eggs
1/3 c Worcestershire sauce
2 tsp basil (dried)
1 chopped onion
1/2c ketchup (I prefer Heinz as Hunts is too sweet)
salt and pepper to taste (I never do, but sometimes I'll throw in some garlic powder)
about 1 or 2 Tbs (a dash) of oatmeal (not instant)

Mix well and bake uncovered at 350 for about an hour.
I usually drain it well, drizzle ketchup on the top and put back in oven for 5-10min.

Serve with ketchup and fav veggies.

Remember from previous post that I rarely follow a recipe. This is the basic. I've used Lipton onion soup instead of the onion...Tony Chachere's Creole Seasoning and/or garlic powder for a little more zip...and other little changes as the mood strikes.

Back to reading.

Saturday, July 21, 2007

Waiting...and Waiting...AND WAITING.

Well, Subvet and I are avid Harry Potter fans.

I pre-ordered THE BOOK from It's supposed to be here by 7pm tonight. It's now 4:40pm and we're still waiting for that blessed knock on the door.

Actually it's funny. Subvet was in Walmart picking up other stuff at 6:30am this morning on his way home from work. He saw a bunch of the books sitting there. He looked to see how many pages there were and put it back (about 750). I am amazed that he didn't buy one then. We were going to get 2 copies so we could both read in peace but we've had some financial setbacks and so resolved to just get one copy and share. Now you would think that with him on nights and me on days this wouldn't be an issue. I'll let you know, but I'm expecting some friction myself. We are both voracious readers and each of us have been known to stay up all night (or day) to finish a particularly good book. As he is also a very fast reader I've basically steeled myself to letting him have the book first and I'll read it next week while he's at work. He's also a gentleman so it may not be necessary........I mean if you can't use "ladies first" now when CAN you???

Also, don't expect my usual quota of posts until said BOOK is read.

Thesaurus Thursday Answer

Thanks Diane for your guess.


a collection of items or parts in one mass; assemblage; aggregation; heap.

A congeries of worms fell from the sky.

Friday, July 20, 2007

Show and Tell

Kelli is hosting show and tell friday again

So, here's mine.

These are the flowers that I put on the alter at church in honor of our 8th anniversary. They started as 3 "bunches" at Walmart (2 of the same white flowers). I picked the roses because they looked unusual with the dark stripes. (you have to enlarge the picture to see em) Funny thing...when I was arranging them I realized I only had NINE :-P
I guess that makes them like birthday candles huh? With one to grow on.

Thursday, July 19, 2007

Thesaurus Thursday

Well, I didn't quite get this one out on Thursday, but it's something I'm gonna start doing weekly. I love books, especially learning new words. I feel that we Americans only use a very small portion of the English language. So, *we* are going to learn a new word each week, here's how.

Every Thursday I will find a new word to put up. You will GUESS at the meaning of the nice and don't look it up. Saturday I will post the meaning. This is silly and fun so be creative making up "meanings"

Ready??? Set......



PenofJen was nice enough to award me this little award a couple of weeks ago. It's my first ever, and may just be my last. See, I've been fighting with my conscience ever since she gave it to me. Here's my dilemma. All the "girl" bloggers who I would award it to have already gotten it, some of them many times. So it seems to me like the award is just making the same rounds thereby making it obsolete. However, there are 6 "guy" bloggers that I think rock big time who (of course) haven't been given this award as of yet. So, blame the headache medicine but I'm going to BREAK THE RULES.

First I must gratefully and (somewhat) graciously accept the award as given. Y'all need to go check out Pen of Jen as she is one cool lady. And yes, I must say I DO rock. Twice a day, every day; once before nap time and once before bedtime. Usually with 2 little boys in my lap ;-)

Now, for the 6 that I am going to name as Rockin' Girl Award Winners.

1) Blowin' San #1, written by Subvet. He's rocked my world ever since December of 1998. He writes a great blog mostly about political absurdities with some comedy thrown in. Always entertaining.

2) Infantry Dad. He's got a son in Iraq and shares funnies and frustration alike while supporting not only his son, but anyone else with family members overseas who stops by. His blog is fun to read and often there is more going on in the comments than the actual posts. He definitely rocks.

3) The Chief over at Smoldering Embers in a Mohawk Campfire. I've no idea why he gave his blog such a long name but he's one very funny guy. An ex-Marine who takes great wildlife pictures, especially of birds pooping on rear view mirrors. Some of his stuff is 'R' rated so take off your goody too shoes before you go over there. He is one rocking blogger.

4) Cookie at The Cook Shack. Now, Cookie and the Chief keep stealin stuff from each other so sometimes you get a double laugh if you visit both. Cookie not only keeps me laughing but he will also put up some delicious recipes. He's an ex-Sub Sailor and he usually gives a warning before the 'R' rated stuff comes up. I've always loved his motto "Never trust a skinny cook." He rocks, as a matter of fact, he can probably cook rocks and have em taste good.

5) No Apology. This guy writes a lot. Most of it has to do with either current politics or homeschooling. His posts are always informative and thought provoking. I enjoy visiting him when I want a good non-fiction read. He rocks too.

6) Big White Hat. This is one of the good guys. He writes many inspirational posts along with some short stories. It's great to read about his kids and the encouraging way he deals with the trials of parenthood. Another thought provoking rockin blogger.

So there you have it. I've broken the one and only rule attached to the Rockin Girl Blogger Award. Go ahead and take away my birthday...I've had enough anyway. But be sure to visit these guys, they are very good bloggers!


2 squealing wild boys + 1 fussy puking baby + 1 Mommy with Migraine headache = 1 crummy afternoon.

The good news is that "There's Always Tomorrow" as the song says and all 3 kids are asleep, hubby is gone to work and the headache is fading.

As I was thinking about doing my yoga video to stretch and relax a bit I remembered this video I'd been emailed awhile back. It's titled "Why moms can't do yoga."

Enjoy!! beverages till it's over.

Wednesday, July 18, 2007

My How Time Flies When You're Having Fun!

Well, I've seen this fun meme around and thought I'd save it for the 1 month mark of my blogging....

HAHA, I missed it!! I went back last night and first post went up June 16th.
So I guess I'll just do it anyway.

Here's the deal. I'm gonna put up several statements, they are all true except one.
YOU get to guess which one is false. Subvet can't play, he knows all the answers :-)

I think the "winner" will get a copy of my famous meatloaf recipe.

Here goes:

1) I've been able to read music longer than I've been able to read English.

2) I sing Tenor

3) I qualified for the Concealed Handgun License the first time I'd ever been shooting.

4) I play 2 instruments

5) I met my husband online

6) I haven't bought a loaf of bread in 5 years.

7) I've never bought baby food.

8) I can nurse a baby and type at the same time.

9) I haven't watched anything on television since the 2004 Presidential Debates.

10) I was blond until adulthood.

11) I have 7 entire Dr. Seuss books memorized.

Have fun guessing!!

Rules for Thesaurus Thursday for newcomers

Just in case this is your first time by here on a Thesaurus Thursday, the "rules" of Thesaurus Thursday are as follows:

First and foremost, leave as many funny definitions for either word (or both) as you can think up in the comments!! The ones that make me laugh the hardest will be given the Silly Goose Award.

Next, if you know (or think you know) the true definitions without looking them up then be sure and leave those in the comments too!! All definitions that are correct (or close enough for government work and Mighty Mom) will win the Smarty Pants Award!

Tuesday, July 17, 2007

Prayers for Soldiers.

I am going to repost this one and keep it at the top for a week or so. There is new stuff below. I want everyone who might drop by to have a chance to a) add their loved one to my list and b) create a sidebar list of their own.

And, as I told Penless Writer in the comments. I have no rules. If you have a loved one serving in the United States Military who you'd like prayers for, they go on the list, PERIOD.

Many of you that I've commented with have loved ones serving overseas whom you're worried about. I've started a sidebar list of soldiers who need prayer. If you know a soldier and would like their name added to my list, just leave it in my comments. Prayer is the most powerful tool we have. We should utilize it whenever, wherever, and however possible.

I would appreciate it if each of you who visit my blog stop and say a small prayer for these brave folk each time you see their name.


Shorty in Shorts

The summer before last I made Sonshine 3 pair of shorts. It was soo cheap and easy to make them rather than buy them. I'd been given left over fabric by a friend and enjoyed knowing that he had shorts that no one else has. For one reason or another I haven't been able to make any more since then. This summer Gator-boy is wearing those same shorts. Here is Gator-boy wearing my favorite pair of the three.

Every time he wears them Subvet has the same comment to make. He's been making this particular comment since Sonshine wore them 2 years ago.

"Boy, that kid sure has a lot of balls!"


Sunday, July 15, 2007

What's the "wrong" height?

Pen of Jen mentioned that everyone in her family, other than she, were the "right" height. This got me to thinking.....

Last year at preschool Joe's teacher was a big black woman. Ms Gilda. About 6' tall. His teacher's aide was a small white woman. Ms Kathie. She claimed to be 4'11" (I think she stood on tiptoe to get that measurement) The first time I met them I thought, well, that's one way to teach him about diversity!! As the school year passed I realized how Ms Kathie had the better end of that deal. She didn't have to bend or stoop to see the kids and she actually fit in the tiny chairs. They are both wonderful teachers who loved my son and truly helped him to blossom during the year. I was sad at the last day of school.

The other side of the height coin. Subvet as I said in the last post is 6'3" I'm 5'5". I'll never forget when we were first married, we would go grocery shopping together. It was our "outing" and we enjoyed it. We'd just moved to a new neighborhood and were in a new store looking for the last thing on our list. Subvet says, it's two aisles over, that way. I looked at him like he'd landed off the moon. "What???!!" "How do you know that??" "It's on the sign hanging down over the middle of the aisle." My jaw dropped with a thud. "You can see that sign...TWO AISLES OVER???" "*shrug* well....yeah....just look over the tops of the shelves...." I think I just growled. Oh I forgot to say we were in the middle of the aisle at the time...not at the end.

A few years ago we went to Subvet's family reunion. It was a lot of fun to meet all his cousins. At one point I was looking all over for him. Finally I asked a cousin if she'd seen him. She must have thought I was drunk (I don't drink)and said, he's right over there, talking to Vince and a couple of other cousins. I looked and sure enough I'd looked right past him. See, he's usually the tallest one in the room. So when I look for him I just scan the heads and his usually sticks out (or up). Well, in that room full of cousins ol Subvet was amongst the SHORT folk!! Almost all of his cousins are 6'2" and taller. Up to cousin Vince who is 6'9" and was a hoot to dance with for little ol me!!

This leads me to a post that I've been saving for awhile. It's lyrics to a song written and sung by Bon Jovi. It can be found on their Have a Nice Day album. This song has been my anthem through all the ups and downs with therapy for the boys. I listen to it often and I still start crying at the end. I'll bold the lines that make me cry. You can figure out why. If all you know about Bon Jovi is "Shot Through the Heart" or "Wanted Dead or Alive" you might take the time to check out some of their newer stuff. They've aged well (but then, I've been a fan for 20 years now).

Welcome to Wherever You Are

Maybe we're all different but we're still the same
We all got the blood of Eden running through our veins
I know sometimes it's hard for you to see
You're caught between just who you are and who you want to be
If you feel alone and lost and need a friend
Remember every new beginning is some beginning's end

Welcome to wherever you are
This is your life; you made it this far
Welcome, you got to believe
That right here, right now
You're exactly where you're supposed to be
Welcome to wherever you are

When everybody's in and you're left out
And you feel you're drowning in the shadow of a doubt
Everyone's a miracle in their own way
Just listen to yourself, not what other people say
When it seems you're lost, alone and feelin' down
Remember, everybody's different; just take a look around

Welcome to wherever you are
This is your life; you made it this far
Welcome, you got to believe
Right here, right now
You're exactly where you're supposed to be

Be who you want to be
Be who you are
Everyone's a hero
Everyone's a star
When you want to give up and your heart's about to break
Remember that you're perfect; God makes no mistakes

Welcome to wherever you are
This is your life; you made it this far
Welcome, you got to believe
Right here, right now
You're exactly where you're supposed to be
I say welcome...
I say welcome...

Saturday, July 14, 2007


Well, PenofJen tagged me...sorta.

She wanted to see a post about me and Subvet..with pictures. Seeing as how I've had 3 babies in 3.5 years, you can imagine that I am not pleased with my current appearance. However, I will succumb to peer pressure, after all, "all the cool blogs are doing it" as they say.

Today Subvet and I celebrated our 8th wedding anniversary. We were married 7/17/99 at the Dallas Arboretum. Yup, that's me all over, an outside wedding in the BUTT MIDDLE of a Texas summer. Poor Subvet almost melted in his tux before all was said and done. It was a simple wedding, there were 11 of us there. That's counting me, Subby and the preacher. We went to Walt Disney World for a week's honeymoon and then 2 weeks after the wedding we had the reception with about 75 or so attending. I planned and executed the whole thing. The only thing that I remember Subby having input on was the groom's cake. He wanted "We're Legal!!" put on it. So I did. ;-) (We'd lived together for a year before getting hitched) As I don't have a scanner you can't see wedding pics (darn shame too, they are GOOD!)

I have to tell you that last night was hard for me. Subvet works odd hours and he was gone from early evening till early morning this morning. Knowing that he'd be working on our actual anniversary and this was going to be our celebration somehow made his absence harder. I had a lot of time to think about our marriage and kids and life in general. It's hard to remember what things were like 8 years ago. Our life now is mostly caught up in taking care of the kids and working with our 2 delayed sons. But I do know this. I love that man. More than he will ever understand. He is the one that I can lean on, the one that I go to for everything from life advice to broken toys. PenofJen did a question post the other day, what brings you comfort. All I could think of was Subvet. He can make me laugh when all I want to do is cry or scream. He's 6'3" and I'm 5'5" which means I can get totally lost inside his huge hug. We can communicate across a room without words. He spoils me rotten.

So, what did we do for our anniversary? Well, we had a hard time deciding if we wanted to go to the pistol range or go see Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix. We saw the movie, and it's a good'un. We'll go shooting sometime soon.

When we got married I told him that we would try it out for 60 years, then decide if we wanted to make it permanent. So, 8 down 52 to go. I'm looking forward to each one.

So now for the pictures *sigh*.

These were taken at Sugars' baptism last May. The dress she's wearing was Subvet's baptism gown. All 3 of our kids have worn it. The dress I'm wearing I made 4 years ago for our 2nd wedding. Subvet went back to Catholicism so we had to get married again by a priest. I get asked periodically if I'd still marry him were we to be able to go back and do it all over again...surely after doing it twice already that question's been answered.

So, here you go Ms. Jen. Now it's YOUR turn!

Friday, July 13, 2007

Show and Tell

go here to see all the lovely show and tells!!

Well, I've seen a lot of you fellow bloggers doing a show and tell. I thought I'd join in the fun. Here we have Subvet's coffee cup. You'll notice it says "The Boss"

Now for "The Rest of the Story"

I bought him that cup. He always tells the kids, he's the boss, after all it says so on his coffee cup. Of course, he also says that he's only the boss because I said he could be! There are days when I threaten to take the coffee cup away. :-)

He's recently given me my own category on his blogroll "SHE WHO MUST BE OBEYED." It's no wonder Sonshine says "Mommy's da man."

Sonshine Pictures

Just so you know that Alligator isn't our only stinker. Here's a couple of pictures of Sonshine. He's quite a character himself.

Thursday, July 12, 2007

Dear Teacher

Well, Alligator-boy starts preschool at the end of August. I thought I'd better write a letter to his teachers to let them know just what they're getting into with him.

Dear Teacher.

I would like to take a moment to introduce you to my son, Alligator. He has a few personality traits that you should know about up front. Otherwise he will take you on quite a ride over the course of the upcoming school year.

1) He's cute, very cute. But please don't be taken in. He knows just how cute he is, and is very adept at using it to his advantage. You'll tell him not to do something, he'll do it anyway. Then when you fuss at him for it. Be prepared for his traffic stopping "You can't mean me, after all, I'm cute" grin.

Do not be fooled. He may not have many words (and doesn't use the ones he has very often), however, he is not "slow." As a matter of fact, he's too smart for his own good.

2) You may think at first that he has an enormous temper. However, it is all an act. Midway through the biggest tantrum you've ever seen, he will stop and look at you. Just to make sure you're watching.

Heed my advice, don't watch.

3) This child is far from helpless, although he likes to pretend otherwise.

Not so very long ago (at age 1) he crawled all the way across the living room, screaming, stopping every foot or so to throw his sippy cup a little closer to Daddy. Finally got himself and cup at Daddy's feet, threw cup in Daddy's lap, gave Daddy BIG puppy dog eyes with alligator tears. Daddy picked up sippy cup and held it for darling boy so he could take a drink. Daddy then had to check on something in the kitchen. Darling boy crawls, cries, throws cup over to Mommy. Mama says "nope, not gonna work babe." Darling helpless boy picks up sippy cup and takes a drink, unassisted, then goes off to play. Daddy, watching from the kitchen, says, "I've been had."

In short, Alligator-boy is a wonderful child, with a fantastic personality. He is guaranteed to make you laugh. But you must not let him run the show. Trust me, we've learned the hard way.

Looking forward to a wonderful year. (While you have the two hooligans).



Wednesday, July 11, 2007

The Great Passy War

In this corner we have Mom, wanting the passy,
In the other corner we have Sugars, wanting the fingers.

Looking good for Mom

Ut-oh folks, there may be an upset here.

"Are you sure I have to use a passy?"

"How's this?"


And the judge names the winner

"Who, me??"


Tuesday, July 10, 2007

Potty Training 102

OK, here we are halfway through the summer. I had 2 goals for this summer back in May. 1) Get Alligator's fingers OUT OF THAT MOUTH. 2) Potty Train Sonshine. Apparently, God laughed and laughed when I told Him these goals. I've given up on Gator-Boy for now. He started cutting those 2 year molars and it just wasn't worth the fight to tell the truth.

Sonshine, however I am working with. So far he's decided he wants to spend every waking moment in the bathroom, flushing the toilet. I was emailed a video once about a guy's cat who kept flushing the toilet. At the time I wondered just how huge his water bill must be. Now I know. The thing is, not only does Sonshine keep flushing it but so does Alligator. Last night I was on the phone for 15 min. Sonshine was asleep on the couch (it was past bedtime). Alligator-boy spent the ENTIRE 15 minutes running from the chair where he giggled at the cat (who was non-plussed to say the least) to the bathroom where he flushed the toilet. I've tried and tried to teach them to at least wait till the potty stops making noise before flushing again. But they seem to think this is child abuse. So, here's my question to you. We have childproof locks for EVERYTHING. There's one to keep toilet lids shut, there's one to keep the toilet paper from being unrolled. There's one to keep toys out of VCRs. There are even little clips to keep shoes tied. How do you keep the kid from just flushing the toilet over and over and over.....? Fortunately (or not) neither of them have mastered peeing in the potty we haven't discovered we can flush stuff down the toilet. Once that happens I'm afraid it'll all be over, the battle lost. I might as well just put a pillow in the bathroom and move in.

And what would you call that contraption anyway...a Single Shot Potty?? How to get a Handle on your Toilet Handle?? One Flush at a Time?? The One Flush Wonder??

Sending you over yonder

Well, as I said earlier, my muse made up for lost time by giving me a bunch of posts yesterday. Unfortunately, I didn't write any of them down. And after reading a zillion very funny jokes at The Chief's Place, and watching this very long and informative video in 5 parts about global warming at Cookie's Place, my mind is sooo numb I can't remember my name. I had to go visit my own profile to remember what movies I like to see. Just don't ask me when the last time I saw a movie was.

So, My Sweetie Subvet is wanting to get some debate started about universal healthcare. This is in response to "Sicko" the movie. If you have any questions, thoughts, answers, ideas or concerns about national healthcare please go visit him. If you happen to live in a country (or have lived in a country) that has universal healthcare your opinion is especially appreciated.

Thanks, I'll get some sleep and see if the muse comes back tomorrow.

Saturday, July 7, 2007

Rain, Rain, Rain

Many of you fine folk and blogging buddies have asked me if I've flooded out. The answer is no. I do live in NE Texas about 50 miles or so from Dallas and we have had a gazillion inches of rain in the last 4 months. But my home is fortunately still above water. Those just a bit further north of us are not so lucky. However, I thought I would show just what it does look like 'roun these parts. We had a sunny, pleasant (90 degree) morning. I guess it hasn't rained in about 24 hours. Subvet is hoping the rain will hold off for about another 24 hours so the ground will dry enough to get our mower through the lawn. Since the weather was pleasant, but the ground still too swamp-like to let the kids play outside we went for one of our "road-trips." Subvet and I love these. We just pack everyone in the van and we pick a direction and drive. We tell the kids we are going to "count the cows", they'll grow up thinking Mommy was a Professional Cow Counter (just call me The PCC). The round trip today took about 3 hours and at least we've gotten out of this blinking house!!

These are pictures of our front yard still draining into the gutter.

It's been wet for so long there is algae growing (and stinking) all around. This is unheard of around here. ESPECIALLY in the middle of July!!!

This is a picture of the manhole cover in our front lawn that is over the water meter. Subvet uses the standing water here as a gauge of whether or not he can mow yet.

ummm, not yet dear.

Here are some pictures I took of Lake Lavon as we drove over it.

The view from this bridge was quite different 4 months ago. There was no water. None at all. The lake bed had been dry for so long that there were cattle grazing in knee high (to them) grass and scrub brush. Lake Lavon did not completely dry up, but you could not see any water from this point. As you can see, the water is back.

These show how close the water is to the guardrail at the bottom of the picture. Don't worry, for those of you who didn't have to take Texas History in the 7th grade. There are no natural lakes in Texas. They are all dam-made. Lake Lavon will not overflow, but they might have to let some water out of the dam to flow down-river. Which will cause problems for folks who live south of us.

Now, there is always a silver lining......or so I've been told. Here you go.

These are the cannas on the side of my garage. They are almost as tall as Subvet (who's 6'3"). Whoever heard of 6' tall cannas in the middle of a Texas summer???

As we rounded to the last leg of our road trip this morning the clouds started moving in.

And we had a few rain drops hit the windshield before we got home. We'll have to see if Subvet gets to mow tomorrow or not.

I pray for all those north and south (down river) of us. We're wondering about mowing our lawn, they're wondering about salvaging their possessions and there have been some very tragic deaths due to the high water. Thank you for your concern for my family. But, as you can see, we are fine. Send your concern to all those who aren't.


Well, I didn't post anything yesterday because I couldn't find a funny thought in my head for love nor money. I don't know, just wasn't there. I traveled to a couple of my fav sites for inspiration and they weren't posting funnies either. So, today my muse is making up for lost time and has given me about 15 posts. Which I will put up a couple and save the rest for the next time she decides to take the day off.

This is an email I got from a good friend of mine. I doubt that it's biologically possible, don't bother snopes-ing it, I don't care. The thing made me laugh till I cried and that's really all that matters.


I had to take my son's lizard to the vet.

Here's what happened:

Just after dinner one night, my son came up to tell me there was "something wrong" with one of the two lizards he holds prisoner in his room.

"He's just lying there looking sick," he told me. "I'm serious, Dad. Can you help?"

I put my best lizard-healer expression on my face and

followed him into his bedroom. One of the little lizards was indeed lying on his back, looking stressed. I immediately knew what to do.

"Honey," I called, "come look at the lizard!"

"Oh, my gosh!" my wife exclaimed. "She's having babies."

"What?" my son demanded. "But their names are Bert and Ernie, Mom!"

I was equally outraged.

"Hey, how can that be? I thought we said we didn't want them to reproduce," I said accusingly to my wife.

"Well, what do you want me to do, post a sign in their cage?" she inquired (I think she actually said this sarcastically!).

"No, but you were supposed to get two boys!" I reminded her, (in my most loving, calm, sweet voice, while gritting my teeth).

"Yeah, Bert and Ernie!" my son agreed.

"Well, it's just a little hard to tell on some guys, you know," she informed me (Again with the sarcasm!).

By now the rest of the family had gathered to see what wasgoing on. I shrugged, deciding to make the best of it.

"Kids, this is going to be a wondrous experience," I announced. "We're about to witness the miracle of birth."

"Oh, gross!" they shrieked

"Well, isn't THAT just great? What are we going to do with a litter of tiny little lizard babies?" my wife wanted to know.

We peered at the patient. After much struggling, what looked like a tiny foot would appear briefly, vanishing a scant second later.

"We don't appear to be making much progress," I noted.

"It's breech," my wife whispered, horrified.

"Do something, Dad!" my son urged.

"Okay, okay." Squeamishly, I reached in and grabbed the foot when it next appeared, giving it a gentle tug. It disappeared. I tried several more times with the same results.

"Should I call 911?" my eldest daughter wanted to know.

"Maybe they could talk us through the trauma." (You see a pattern here with the females in my house?)

"Let's get Ernie to the vet," I said grimly. We drove to the vet with my son holding the cage in his lap.

"Breathe, Ernie, breathe," he urged.

"I don't think lizards do Lamaze," his mother noted to him. (Women can be so cruel to their own young. I mean what she does to me is one thing, but this boy is of her womb, for God's sake.).

The vet took Ernie back to the examining room and peered at the little animal through a magnifying glass.

"What do you think, Doc, a C-section?" I suggested scientifically.

"Oh, very interesting," he murmured. "Mr. and Mrs. Cameron, may I speak to you privately for a moment?"

I gulped, nodding for my son to step outside.

"Is Ernie going to be okay?" my wife asked.

"Oh, perfectly," the vet assured us. "This lizard is not in labor. In fact, that isn't EVER going to happen. . . Ernie is a boy. You see, Ernie is a young male. And occasionally, as they come into maturity, like most male species, they um . . um . . . masturbate. Just the way he did, lying on his back." He blushed, glancing at my wife.

We were silent, absorbing this.

"So, Ernie's just . just . . . excited," my wife offered.

"Exactly," the vet r eplied , relieved that we understood.

More silence. Then my vicious, cruel wife started to giggle. And giggle. And then even laugh loudly.

"What's so funny?" I demanded, knowing, but not believing that the woman I married would commit the upcoming affront to my flawless manliness.

Tears were now running down her face. "It's just .that . . I'm picturing you pulling on its . . . its. . . teeny little . . " She gasped for more air to bellow in laughter once more.

"That's enough," I warned. We thanked the vet and hurriedly bundled the lizard and our son back into the car.. He was glad everything was going to be okay.

"I know Ernie's really thankful for what you did, Dad," he told me.

"Oh, you have NO idea," my wife agreed, collapsing with laughter.

Two lizards: $140.

One cage: $50.

Trip to the vet: $30.

Memory of your husband pulling on a lizard's winkie:


Moral of the story: Pay attention in biology class.

Lizards lay eggs

Thursday, July 5, 2007

The Phone Rings.....

I answer, "Gator wrestling, shows every 10 minutes, tickets at the door."
this is followed by dead silence. Apparently this was the first time my pastor had called me on a silly day.

This reminded me of all the silly answering machine messages and "hello"s I've used through the years.

There was the old standard "Grand Central Station, how may I help you?" which had a prospective college rep stuttering about dialing the wrong area code when I was a high school senior.

The "Albertson's Pharmacy, can I help you?" to which my mother replied "No it's not!" (I was working for Albertson's Pharmacy at the time...)

And my personal favorite (that Subvet won't let me use) on the answering machine "Hello, hello. Are you there? Hello? I called you up to say hello. I said hello, can you hear me Joe? Oh No. I cannot hear your call, I cannot hear your call at all. This is not good, and I know why. A mouse has cut the wire, goodbye." That's from Dr. Seuss' One Fish Two Fish Red Fish Blue Fish.

There've been many, many more...but alas through the years they each fade be replaced with something that fits my mood for the day. And, just in case you thought I was uniquely odd. I called my Grandad's house today. Got his answering machine.

It said, "[Johnson] mule barn...well, I guess that old mule got the gate open and now he's let them all out. I'm out in the field trying to round em all back up again...leave me a message."

Guess the fruit don't fall far from the tree after all.

Wednesday, July 4, 2007

Great video from cookie

He's got some fantastic Independence Day stuff up.
Go see him here.

who da man??

Subvet likes teaching Sonshine new phrases. Some of the ones he's learned from Daddy so far include "Good rip, Daddy, Good rip." and when asked if he's a turtle, "You bet your bippy I am."

So, a couple of days ago Subvet spent about 10-15min trying to get Sonshine to say Daddy's da man. Every time he'd say "Daddy's da man." Sonshine would respond "Nooooooo." This went on several times before Daddy just gave up.

The next night as I was getting Sonshine ready for bed, out of nowhere he looks at me and says, "Mommy's da man" several times. I laughed and said I couldn't wait to tell his Daddy that.

I told Subvet what Sonshine had said the next morning. That fine gentleman responded, "It's bad enough it's true...he doesn't have to rub it in."

All I have to say is "YES!!!" ;-)

Tuesday, July 3, 2007

Welcome to my world

This is what my living room looks like at 7:29am every morning.

And here's what it looks like as of 7:30am.

I've never figured out how it takes 35 min to clean the room, but only 35 sec to clean the shelves. After all, it's the SAME NUMBER OF TOYS, right??

And when I bought those shelves and moved them into the living room, little did I know that they would provide so much entertainment...
Silly me, I thought kids played in the floor.

Monday, July 2, 2007


I took Sugars to her 4 month check up today. The doctor told me to EAT MORE!! Apparently she didn't gain as much weight as needed and, being preemie, this is quite a concern. The good doctor then told me that as I am nursing I needed to increase how much I eat in order for her to get more. OK, so I guess I'll have to wait a while to lose the weight I gained with these pregnancies. In the meantime, my wonderful Subvet headed out to buy some Blue Bell (that's ice cream for you non-Texas folk), we've been going through withdrawals as we tried to diet.

Now, that said, I really don't want to get too out of shape, so I've included a copy of my new workout video. Be sure your sound is on and don't drink any beverages until it's over. Fair warning!