originally posted at Extraordinary Mom's Network 10/20/08
The number one thing I've found about being a Mom is the colossal amount of GUILT that I carry. I'm not talking about things that I just wish I'd done different...I'm talking about true haunt your dreams..cry in your pillow guilt.
Now, friends. Here's my advice to you.
Just Say NO to Mommy Guilt!
To help you gain perspective and win the battle over guilt, I'm gonna share with you things that I've felt guilty over.
1) Lifting my 2lb weights while pregnant (surely it hurt the baby and caused the miscarriage??)
2) Those 2 Advil I broke down and took during the 8th month of pregnancy when my hips hurt so bad I couldn't move or sleep.
3) I drank Chocolate Milk every morning I was pregnant...and over the last 6 months my 4 year old has refused any kind of milk EXCEPT Chocolate Milk!!
4) My 4 month old breastfed baby CRIED FOR 20 MINUTES before my stepmother realized that the bottle I was trying to feed him needed to be warmer.
5) I hadn't changed out the extra clothes in my son's backpack so when he got his long sleeved shirt all wet the only thing he had was a short sleeve shirt...and he was COLD ON THE PLAYGROUND!!! (please note that it was NOT cold enough for me to have sent him wearing a jacket)
6) In my battle against cradle cap I scrubbed all my 1 month old's hair off.
7) When walking in to put the baby to bed for the night I found the cat asleep in the crib....and didn't change the sheets!
8) I realized that my kids were watching movies (Berenstain Bears) that I HADN'T previewed!!
9) I have 3 kids, the oldest of which is almost 5 and I've ONLY ever made 3 pair of shorts. No other kids clothes!
10) All 3 kids have had to wear those shorts so I can say they wore mommy-made clothes.
Now, folks, I hope you see how not a one of these things will amount to a hill of beansprouts in 5 years. Not a one. As a matter of fact. When I think of how guilty I felt over every one of these (and many more) I just laugh. I mean REALLY!!
So, the next time something happens and you feel that stomach-clenching-guilty feeling stop and ask yourself: "Is anybody other than me gonna remember this in 5 years?" Most often the answer is no and you can then stop the guilt train we seem to ride way too frequently.