My Husband "Subvet" says that when our first son "Sonshine" was born the sun rose on our world, when our second son "Gator" was born the sun laughed and when our daughter "Sugars" was born all the flowers bloomed. That says it all.

"Life is not about waiting for the storms to pass...
It's about learning how to dance in the rain."

Your mind is the garden, your
thoughts are the seeds, the harvest can either be flowers or weeds. — William

Sunday, March 1, 2009

Just say NO to Mommy Guilt

originally posted at Extraordinary Mom's Network 10/20/08

The number one thing I've found about being a Mom is the colossal amount of GUILT that I carry. I'm not talking about things that I just wish I'd done different...I'm talking about true haunt your dreams..cry in your pillow guilt.

Now, friends. Here's my advice to you.

Just Say NO to Mommy Guilt!

To help you gain perspective and win the battle over guilt, I'm gonna share with you things that I've felt guilty over.

1) Lifting my 2lb weights while pregnant (surely it hurt the baby and caused the miscarriage??)
2) Those 2 Advil I broke down and took during the 8th month of pregnancy when my hips hurt so bad I couldn't move or sleep.
3) I drank Chocolate Milk every morning I was pregnant...and over the last 6 months my 4 year old has refused any kind of milk EXCEPT Chocolate Milk!!
4) My 4 month old breastfed baby CRIED FOR 20 MINUTES before my stepmother realized that the bottle I was trying to feed him needed to be warmer.
5) I hadn't changed out the extra clothes in my son's backpack so when he got his long sleeved shirt all wet the only thing he had was a short sleeve shirt...and he was COLD ON THE PLAYGROUND!!! (please note that it was NOT cold enough for me to have sent him wearing a jacket)
6) In my battle against cradle cap I scrubbed all my 1 month old's hair off.
7) When walking in to put the baby to bed for the night I found the cat asleep in the crib....and didn't change the sheets!
8) I realized that my kids were watching movies (Berenstain Bears) that I HADN'T previewed!!
9) I have 3 kids, the oldest of which is almost 5 and I've ONLY ever made 3 pair of shorts. No other kids clothes!
10) All 3 kids have had to wear those shorts so I can say they wore mommy-made clothes.

Now, folks, I hope you see how not a one of these things will amount to a hill of beansprouts in 5 years. Not a one. As a matter of fact. When I think of how guilty I felt over every one of these (and many more) I just laugh. I mean REALLY!!

So, the next time something happens and you feel that stomach-clenching-guilty feeling stop and ask yourself: "Is anybody other than me gonna remember this in 5 years?" Most often the answer is no and you can then stop the guilt train we seem to ride way too frequently.


HalfCrazy said...

Really? Just chocolate milk for a lifetime for your child? Lol! I bet she's/he's gonna learn some fresh milk one of these days!

"6) In my battle against cradle cap I scrubbed all my 1 month old's hair off."

- Okaaaay! Wasn't that a little naughty? lol.

Really entertaining Mommy post lol! Much Love,

Linda said...

As long as the 1-month old's hair grew back and your son didn't catch pneumonia from having to wear a short-sleeved shirt on the playground I think you're good!

Then again ... I don't know, maybe the kids will be traumatized from never having had "Mommy made" clothes and will have to have counseling until they are well into their 20's!

Glad to hear you're learning to shed the guilt! Lord knows we have enough other burdens and stressors to lug around with us - we don't need Mommy guilt on top of it!

Adrienne said...

Listen - nothing could match my Mom sticking Vicks up my nose. Not under it - up it.

When I grew up I actually happened to read the fine print that said, in essence, don't stick this crap up your kids nose. I called my Mom and told her I was right and she just shrugged. What a great woman!!

Mrs4444 said...

There are just two things that I have MommyGuilt over. One, Kendall will never forget (but is not as bothered about it as I am, and NO, I will not share) and two, the fact that I spend too much time on the computer. They might survive....

Harry said...

As long as The Obama says you don't have to feel guilty over any of these things, you're in the clear . . . I think.

Lisa said...

Excellent perspective! Great post! You'd swoon if I told you some of the things I no longer feel guilty for. It's close to scandalous. But, ya know, you really do come to learn what's important, don't you? Bless you for your wonderful common sense!

Susan said...

I've always wondered why I liked chocolate milk so I was all my mothers fault!!!