Susan at Penless Writer put up this interview meme. I answered some questions from Lisa a little while ago. (You can find those answered questions here.) Since Susan has been reading my blog almost from its very beginning I couldn't imagine that there'd be anything about me she doesn't already know...but I told her I'd be willing to play. Here are her questions and my answers.....
1. How did you meet your husband?
in an AOL chat room, more than 11 years ago.
2. Where do you see yourself in 5 years?
Grey haired! Working with babies, still herding my 3 hooligans.
3. If money were no object where would you live and what would you do?
4. If you could go back and re-do one thing in your life, what would it be?
As I believe that we are formed by the things we live through --both good and bad-- I really wouldn't change anything, however there are things I have said that I wish I hadn't...most especially to my husband during our early years.
5. What is the hardest part of raising an autistic child?
Truthfully, there are a lot of hard things about raising my kids. There are a lot of things relating to my kids and their places in this world that just frankly hurt. Like watching my oldest want so badly to join in a game of catch with 2 older boys yet not know how to be included. So that he just stood in front of one of the boys and jumped up and down waving his hands in excitement...totally unable to verbalize anything but grunts. Or getting an update in the mail from Gator's speech therapist and seeing "presents with severe expressive and receptive speech disorder". Or excitedly telling folks at work that Sugars started walking today! To hear "that's great, how old is she now?" ..."22 months".... **awkward silence** ...
I don't talk about these things much except with my husband. Not that I wouldn't gain comfort or support from others but rather just because I choose to focus on the good, the funny, the wonderful things about these kids. I talk a lot about my kids to my patients, my co-workers, family, friends, the guy in line behind me, the carhop at Sonic...(ok, not quite that much). I talk about my kids and the fact that they all have Special Needs because I want people to see how wonderful SNKs really are. It's like the mother of my mid-20s patient with Down's said when I mentioned that babys with Down's aren't being allowed to be born. "They (those who chose to abort) don't know WHAT they're missing!!"
Each child born in the world is a blessing. And a special needs child is a special blessing. I feel especially blessed to have these kiddos and I choose to **cue the music** accentuate the positive, eliminate the negative, latch on to the affirmative...don't mess with Mr inbetween.
Now, all that being said, I will answer your question, Susan. The hardest thing about raising my children is also one of the biggest blessings of raising my children and can be found in my 10 blessings of raising SNKs post.
7) They bring me closer to God, daily. One of the blessings of parenting SNKs (Special Needs Kids) is that you slowly learn that you have no control over their development. You have no control over their potential, we don’t even know what their potential is! I have no plans for my children’s future, as I have no idea what that future may look like. But see, this is how it’s SUPPOSED to be. We’re told NOT to plan for the future, just to trust that God will supply our needs. Learning to let that go is a painful but wonderful blessing.
The thing we pray for the hardest is that our children will be able to live independently after we're gone. That we won't find ourselves in the situation of picking out what facility we're going to trust to watch over them because they are unable to take care of themselves. We don't know what their future will look like and that's scary. But we are learning, day by day to trust that God knows His plan for each child even though we don't. And that my friend is a blessing~~even if it's hard to swallow some days.
Now, anyone else wanna take part in this meme?? If you would like to ask me questions...or would like me to ask you questions...just let me know and we'll roll this meme along.