My Husband "Subvet" says that when our first son "Sonshine" was born the sun rose on our world, when our second son "Gator" was born the sun laughed and when our daughter "Sugars" was born all the flowers bloomed. That says it all.

"Life is not about waiting for the storms to pass...
It's about learning how to dance in the rain."
Anonymous

Your mind is the garden, your
thoughts are the seeds, the harvest can either be flowers or weeds. — William
Wordsworth

Wednesday, February 27, 2008

Love Love Love

Well, it seems that a lot of folks are posting marriage advice these days.

PenofJen

Penless Writer

Subvet

So I thought I'd put up my favorite advice on being/staying married. For the record, we've been married almost 9 years now.

Before we got married our pastor gave me what I consider the very best marriage advice ever.
She said that being "in love" (defined as the romance and fireworks stage) comes and goes like the tide. You have to have "love" (defined as the firm committment to each other and the relationship) to get you through the times when the tide is out.

I have learned that life is cyclical. "This too shall pass" is always true, for the good times and the bad times. The tide ALWAYS goes out. But it ALWAYS comes back in too. Our job is to hold onto our committment to each other and our promise to God while we wait for the tide to come back in. (This is a whole lot harder when you don't believe that you've made a promise to God by getting married hence the downfall of our nation...but that's another post.)

I learned early on in my marriage that getting along in the marriage is more important than him realizing I was right over a particular issue.

I also heard a lady say that marriage and parenthood were more about our holiness than our happiness. This is where we learn to give of ourselves in the way that Christ gave to us. This is where we learn what it means to love unconditionally and to sacrifice our desires for someone else's. It ain't about "being happy" all the time!

And now I'll put up a couple of songs that always go through my head these days when I think about marriage advice....don't ask me why. *scroll down for lyrics*





Misunderstood by Bon Jovi

Should I? Could I?
Have said the wrong things right a thousand times
If I could just rewind, I see it in my mind
If I could turn back time, you'd still be mine

You cried, I died
I should have shut my mouth, things headed south
As the words slipped off my tongue, they sounded dumb
If this old heart could talk, it'd say you're the one
I'm wasting time when I think about it

[Chorus:]
I should have drove all night, I would have run all the lights
I was misunderstood
I stumbled like my words, Did the best I could
Damn, misunderstood

Could I? Should I?
Apologize for sleeping on the couch that night
Staying out too late with all my friends
You found me passed out in the yard again

You cried, I tried
To stretch the truth, but didn't lie
It's not so bad when you think about it

[Chorus:]
I should have drove all night, I would have run all the lights
I was misunderstood
I stumbled like my words, did the best I could
Damn, misunderstood
Intentions good

[Guitar Solo]

It's you and I, just think about it...

[Chorus:]
I should have drove all night
I would have run all the lights
I was misunderstood
I stumbled like my words, did the best I could
I 'm hanging outside your door
I've been here before
Misunderstood

I stumbled like my words, did the best I could
Damn, misunderstood
Intentions good.


Love Song by Sara Bareilles


Head under water
And they tell me to breathe easy for a while
The breathing gets harder, even I know that
You made room for me but it's too soon to see
If I'm happy in your hands

I'm unusually hard to hold on to
Blank stares at blank pages
No easy way to say this
You mean well, but you make this hard on me
I'm not gonna write you a love song
'cause you asked for it
'cause you need one, you see

I'm not gonna write you a love song
'cause you tell me it's
Make or breaking this
If you're on your way
I'm not gonna write you to stay
If all you have is leaving I'm gonna need a better
Reason to write you a love song today

I learned the hard way
That they all say things you want to hear
And my heavy heart sinks deep down under you and
Your twisted words,
Your help just hurts
You are not what I thought you were
Hello to high and dry
Convinced me to please you
Made me think that I need this too
I'm trying to let you hear me as I am

I'm not gonna write you a love song
'cause you asked for it
'cause you need one, you see
I'm not gonna write you a love song
'cause you tell me it's
Make or breaking this
If you're on your way
I'm not gonna write you to stay
If all you have is leaving I'm gonna need a better
Reason to write you a love song today

Promise me that you'll leave the light on
To help me see with daylight, my guide, gone
'cause I believe there's a way you can love me
Because I say
I won't write you a love song
'cause you asked for it
'cause you need one, you see

I'm not gonna write you a love song
'cause you tell me it's make or breaking this
Is that why you wanted a love song
'cause you asked for it
'cause you need one, you see
I'm not gonna write you a love song
'cause you tell me it's make or breaking this
If you're on your way
I'm not gonna write you to stay
If your heart is nowhere in it
I don't want it for a minute
Babe, I'll walk the seven seas when I believe that
There's a reason to
Write you a love song today

6 comments:

Stephanie said...

Okay, I won't ask about the second song. (?!)

You WILL post a family photo on your blog when you get it won't you? Can't wait to see all of you together.

diana said...

great marriage advice. i like the visual of the tide going in and out. thanks.

Penless Thoughts said...

Amen!!! I like the saying, "Love is a choice, not a feeling."
Susan

Diane J. said...

Ditto on the family picture.

And I agree totally about "love" and being "in love".

jennifer said...

Hey I am in, no time out, although it took abit to get to the comments!

Love the post...and you are on.

Look forward to photos like all others. ANd I am around in blog land a bit here and there. My day is not long enough with spring and everything going on....

Miss the Mightiest of Mom's!

Dayngr said...

Great post. I can always use advice in this area since I am a relative newlywed (going on a mere 5 years) and both of my parents (married 46 years) have passed on.