So, what happens when you get a couple old sailors together?
Having been there I can tell you. A) you go through more coffee than a double humped camel drinks before crossing the Sahara. B) there is a lot of chatter. I mean it. Old sailors talk more than old women! Here's how it goes. First there is a listing of the "Boats" they were on (by the way, Submarines are "boats", Navy surface craft ie things that don't dive are "ships")...then a listing of the people they knew.....which leads to "Did you hear about the time.................."
AAHHHH Yes, the SEA STORY!
And, of course, one will always lead to another as no sailor wants to be outdone by another's SEA STORY!
Q: What's the difference between a Fairy Tale and a Sea Story?
A: One begins with "Once upon a time." the other begins with "Now this is no shit."
So, when I read Cookie's Sea Story that I posted yesterday I knew that Subvet would want to tell his own shitty tale. After much arm twisting and many reminders he finally typed it up for me. ;-)
If you haven't read Cookie's tale yet, scroll down to "Holy Shit!" and read it first as it gives a lot of background information that will help us Land Lovers understand what happened.
So, in his own words (mostly) here you have Subvet's Shitty Sea Story....
(I have edited this one slightly, if you want the cruder version go see Blowin San #1)
Well, Cookie started it all by telling a story of when he blew sanitaries all over Joe Negri, a TMCM who could chew rebar and shit it out as tenpenny nails.
Here's my modest contribution from my time in Uncle Sam's Canoe Club:
Let's face it, the only people more fascinated with their shit than sub sailors are baby boys. And baby boys are a lot less ingenious with spreading it around. I was aboard the USS OMAHA shortly before her commissioning back in 1978. We had left Electric Boat and were tied up at the State Pier in New London outboard the TINOSA. For some ungodly reason our bows both headed north.
As anyone familiar with early 688 class boats knows the sanitary overboard is located in the sonar equipment space, forward port corner of the sphere. (In first flight 688's there was another one in control but that's unimportant for this story.)
At the time the practice was to fit the drydock connection on the sanitary overboard with a yard or so of firehose attached to discharge directly into the river. The sanitary tank was to be pressurized ONLY to about 10-15 psi for this evolution. One midwatch a rather bored IC1 decided to pressurize the tank up to a couple of hundred pounds and let'er rip. Though weighted at the end with a couple of weights the fire hose stood at attention.
The angle was perfect to allow discharge towards TINOSA's weapons shipping hatch, coincidentally left open with the skid in place for the following day's weapons load. The only saving factor were the March winds, otherwise their torpedo room would have gotten a full load, instead they only got most of the load. As it was, dingleberries and paper flew all over the topside area, the sail, the topside watch, you get the picture.
My first indication of trouble as the leading A-ganger was the sight of a well papered State Pier when I arrived the next day. WTF immediately came to mind. Upon coming aboard I heard it all, including the threat (empty as it was illogical) that A-gang would go clean up TINOSA's torpedo room as it was our system that caused the problem. Fortunately the TINOSA moved outboard the submarine tender FULTON that same day to load her fish and we were left by ourselves. No one relished the thought of crossing over her to go on liberty. And that IC1? He went on to enter the Limited Duty Officer (LDO) program. Last time I saw him was in Charleston at the Weapons Station where he was a LCDR and the MPA aboard the tender there. Go figure.