Here are a few I can think of. Some are regional and (as Subvet and I found out) have different meanings in different parts of the country. Add your favorite ones in the comments.
Burning the candle at both ends
(very busy)
Talking out of both sides of your mouth
(contradicting yourself)
Being out of pocket
(being unreachable for a period of time) - this is a Southern meaning
Raining like a double-bladdered cow peeing on a flat rock
(a famous Subvet-ism)
Farting like a Blue-nosed mule
Drunker than Cooter Brown
Dead as a door nail
(Dickens does a whole monologue on why a door nail would be considered dead in the intro to A Christmas Carol)
Useless as tits on a teddy bear
(another Subvet-ism...I'm thinking MILITARY)
Neatest thing since sliced bread
(I still haven't figured out what's so neat about sliced bread!)
Cute as a button
(buttons are cute???)
Full as a tick
(gross)
Busier than a) a one armed paper hanger or b) a one legged man in a butt kicking contest
Snug as a bug in a rug
(got a shoe??)
Sounds like you're a)wrestling alligators or b)juggling chainsaws right now
(very busy)
I've got to pee like a racehorse
(having seen a horse pee...I can understand this one.)
I'll be there, Good Lord willin' and the creek don't rise.
(I'll make every effort to attend)
Dumb as a box of rocks.
(Stuuuupid)
Couldn't pour pee out of a boot if the instructions were written upside down on the heel.
(Stuuuuupid)
Hello, I'm so glad for you to see me today.
(common South Louisiana greeting)
Not the sharpest knife in the drawer
(not smart)
Now let's see what you come up with. I don't mind off-color humor..but let's try not to be just plain tacky ok?
5 comments:
Your blog is great!
Come on back when you don't have to stay so long. (all in jest)
Handy as a pocket on a shirt
sweet as apple pie
blind as a bat
high as a Georgia pine
jumpy as a whore in church
lieing like a dog
I can think of more.
One card short of a full deck
dumb as a doornail(did you say that?)
so low, couldn't jump high enough to hit the floor
I can't think of any others
Although I never thought of cute as a button...how silly is that?
y'all are great!!
Jungle Mom, thanks!! Glad to see you, come on back.
Actually I thought of more after I posted this.
No skin off my nose
I wouldn't shut an outhouse door that hard
(Subvet-ism meaning you just really "slammed" someone good.)
Jen, old women say "that baby's just as cute as a button." I've heard it all my life, never understood it.
Nervous as a cat in a room full of rocking chairs.
Like school in the summertime, no class.
Even a blind squirrel finds a nut once in a while.
It's better to be lucky than good. (From golf)
Driving like a bat out of Hades.
Even a broken clock is right twice a day.
Fit as a fiddle.
Older than dirt.
Livin' high on the hog.
Making a mountain out of a molehill.
Healthy as a horse.
An apple a day keeps the doctor away.
There's more than one way to skin a cat.
I'm so hungry I could eat a horse.
Argue until the cows come home.
Don't let the door hit you in the butt on the way out.
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