mushrooms...

Author's note (always wanted to be able to call myself an author):
Taking this week off from Thesaurus Thursday because I'll be out of pocket on Saturday and unable to give the answer. It will return next week. I'm leaving early Friday so my Show and Tell will probably go up before Kelli has Mr Linky running. Should any of you fine folk see fit to add my name and URL to Mr Linky it would be appreciated. See you on Monday. Mighty Mom.



While April showers bring May flowers,

April, May, June and July showers bring:




yup, all over my front yard. I'm thinking that if it keeps on raining I'll get some of these




Which Cookie assures me are delicious. So far we've had rain daily for the last few days so I'm watching out for those Giant Puffballs.

Winner

Well, if I could think of what to say, I'd say it.

All I can say is thank you very much Susan. It's very kind and generous and unexpected.
A sunny moment in a gloomy week.

One Night in Toulon

OK, this is my ABSOLUTE FAVORITE of all Subvet's Seastories!!

On the last boat I was assigned to, the USS Archerfish (SSN 678), we made a run to the Mediterranean. The nice thing about a fast attack sub versus a boomer is you'll get to see more in the way of liberty ports. Your fast attack is a submarine along the philosophical lines of a WWII U-boat. It's a torpedo carrying wolf of the sea. A boomer is a submerged launch platform for ICBM missiles, think of the movie "Hunt For Red October". The Red October was a boomer. Fast attacks are more politically correct, have a lower security classification and don't need to stay on station in the event the world goes to war and we want to nuke some country. So the liberty runs are better.

Anyway, while the A-fish was on this Med run we stopped in Toulon, France. The military base we tied up at was adjacent to an area known as "The Gut". Most naval bases are near something like this, Pearl Harbor had Hotel Street, New London had Bank Street, Charleston had Spruill Street. They're all loaded with bars, houses of ill repute, vice dens, etc. None of the shops normally sport a Better Business Beareau decal in the window.

So we were tied up and one of our electricians and a few junior officers were out having a toddy for the body one evening. On the way back, while crossing a street, a Renault bumped the electrician in the leg. Being drunk and wanting to be somebody our man immediately let out a roar, grabbed the front bumper and ripped it off the car (Renaults are built like crap, this guy wasn't the Hulk no matter what he believed then). He then turned his wrath towards the two occupants who were hastily exiting the vehicle. His fury was awesome, teeth like daggers and eyes bulging, the cords of his neck jumped out in stark relief to his double chin (he was pretty fat) while his hands clutched in spasmadic anticipation of his victims. As he took his first step towards the sure annhilation of his foes several things became apparent;

1) The car's occupants weren't trying to leave. They were clearing the vehicle for a better field of fire as they,

2) brought out their semiautomatic weapons as well as,

3) every bum, rag picker, prostitute and wino in view who dragged out their firearms, everyone aiming at our intrepid steely eyed killer of the deep who

4) belatedly realized he had walked into the middle of a major police sting and

5) French cops don't have much in the way of a sense of humor. At least these didn't.

6) Book 'im Danno (or Pierre, whatever).

The next day at the arraignment the electrician stood nursing his hangover between our boat's Executive Officer and the Chief of The Boat (COB). None of the three spoke French but as the baliff read the charges they realized our hero wasn't considered too threatening because a) the judge was laughing, b) the baliff was laughing, c) all the cops in the court were laughing and d) all the other criminals were laughing including one little madamesiellle who evidently yelled she'd have to go to the bathroom before she peed all over herself. Alas, too late cherie. Excuse moi.

The judge let him off with a five hundred dollar fine (or whatever that translated to in francs). Probably knocked it down in recognition of the entertainment.

Cars and Girls

OK, let me start by saying that I am a girl.

In fact, I couldn't argue if you wanted to say I am a girly girl.

When I was about 10 I guess I asked my "crazy" Grandaddy what made a car go. The man didn't skip a beat. He told me EVERYTHING. From the electrical switch that energizes when you turn the key, to what spark plugs do, to the basic mechanics of the internal combustion engine including why we have to put gas in the car, to why we put air in the tires to what a muffler does and why the tailpipe goes from the muffler all the way to the end of the bumper instead of ending at the muffler.
I mean, do YOU know why we have brake fluid?? Or what a master cylinder does??

Next I asked him (can you see a pattern here?) what made a train go. He was a switch man for Union Pacific Railroad for 40ish years. That day I learned about steam engines, electric engines, diesel engines. You name it. I spent a goodly part of my childhood sitting at his feet listening. Asking questions and listening.

When I was 16 my Dad gave me my first car. A 1981 Mazda GLC 323 5 speed. I named him Bozo. Before my Dad let me drive away in the car that first day there were a few things I had to do. 1) Rotate the tires. 2) Check ALL fluids 3) Change the air filter 4) Analyze the radiator fluid for antifreeze level 5) Demonstrate how and when to use the jumper cables (did I mention this was in 1992?).

See, in my family no one ever thought twice about teaching a girl all about cars. I had no idea this was unusual till I went to college. I went to Baylor University in Waco, Texas. Land of the Baylor Bow-head.

When I was a Sophomore there was this car in the parking lot across from my dorm that kept having the alarm go off. Stupid thing would bleat all night long. One day I'm pulling into the lot from work and there's a girl there at the car looking lost. I mean LOST. I ask her if she needs help. She says that her alarm must have been going off again last night because now the car won't start. Oh, I have jumper cables, you want a jump? Do you know how to use them?? (AHA, Bow-head alert!) Yes, pop the hood and I'll fix you up. OK, now her car looked a little different inside from mine. I don't remember what the make/model was but let's just say it wasn't a 13 year old Mazda. The battery appeared to have some sort of a shield over it. I couldn't for the life of me figure out how to get the thing off. I asked Ms Bow-head how to get the shield off. "I don't know, when I call the tow truck, they always tell me to sit in the car while they fix it, then when they say so I start it up." WHAT??? I told her in no uncertain terms that when the tow truck showed up this time she needed to STAND OVER HIS SHOULDER and learn how to jump her own dad-gum car!!! And, by the way, your alarm is too stinking sensitive to be in a busy dorm parking lot all the time, take it in and have it turned down. "They can do that??"

In my Junior year there was a car fire in that same lot. Apparently another Ms Bow-head had just returned from a trip home. While she was home her parents had taken the car in for minor repairs. During the 3 hour drive back to Waco she noticed puffs of smoke drifting up from under the hood, but figured it must be ok since they'd just got it out of the shop. She got to Baylor, parked in the lot, got out of the car and as she was walking away from it the engine exploded.

So, ladies, in memory of my recently departed Grandaddy I beseech and implore you. Find out what to say to a car repair man who wants to sell you Halogen Fluid for your headlights. AND TEACH YOUR DAUGHTERS ALSO!!!

During my session with the shooting instructor he told me that he had taught self defence at Texas Women's University. He said they covered everything from handling of firearms to changing a tire. Because any situation that puts you at the mercy of an unknown stranger is dangerous.

Anyway, that's my rant for today.

Wooo Hooo!!!

In the past 2 days I've been tagged twice! It's my first time to get tagged, so I'm looking forward to it. This is one of the tags, the other from Pen of Jen I'll have to take some time on and will do sooner or later.
OK, Glenn over at Ballseye's Boomers tagged me. If you do nothing else, go over there and read how and why his blog got that name. It's a FANTASTIC story!!

OK, on to the tag stuff.

HERE ARE THE RULES:

01. Post the rules before you give the facts

02. Players start with 8 random facts/habits about themselves

03. People who are tagged need to write their own blog

04. At the end of your blog you need to choose eight people that you tag and list their names. Don't forget to leave them a comment, telling them they are tagged, and to read your blog.

OK, let me think here, I'm gonna challenge myself and make it non-kid oriented AND something I haven't discussed online before......



1. In my 32 years on this planet, I've moved a total of 13 times so far. That doesn't count going back and forth to Waco each school year for college.

2. I hate white walls. Each bedroom and my living room are painted a different color. My house was referred to as "The Easter House" by one friend of the family (he's an artist).

3. I can do most handcrafts, including: quilt, sew, needlepoint, cross stitch, crochet, embroidery, & latch hook.

4. For most of my life, the gifts I give at Christmas have been handmade. This started due to poverty in my childhood and is something that I've chosen to continue in my adulthood.

5. I still believe in Santa Claus. I may post on the story of why at another time.

6. I had a very lonely childhood, I would imagine Jesus sitting at the foot of my bed and have long conversations with Him. Come to think of it, I still do. He frequently laughs at me. (as in, "you silly child")

7. I am by nature a pack rat. This does not go over well with my sub sailor husband who wants to throw everything he can away as soon as possible.

8. About 2/3 of the books my children now have were mine as a child, some were my father's.

OH wait, that last one was kid oriented. Let me try again.

8. I can't draw to save my life.

OK, now to tag folks, I'm gonna pick people that I don't already know a lot about. Those like Diane that have 100 things memes in the sidebar are out :-)

Are We There Yet?
KissKus
Infantry Dad
No Apology
Pen of Jen
Smoldering Embers in a Mohawk Campfire
The Cook Shack
The Zoo


As I was finishing up this post I got a call saying that my last living grandparent (I've had 8) has died. This is the "crazy" Grandaddy who sent out all the funny emails that I've occasionally posted. Needless to say, arranging the trip to Shreveport and the care of the 3 kiddos will take up a good bit of my time this week. So, say a prayer for our family, Grandaddy (if you're so inclined) and our travelings. And know that my online presence will be scattered at best.

Ecclesiastes 3:1&2 says "There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under heaven: a time to be born and a time to die."

I guess it's now time for the old "[Johnson] mule barn" to officially and permanently close.

May God bless an eccentric old man who passed on a quirky sense of humor without which I would not know any of you because my blog would be dull dull dull!


Sugars and her Great Grandaddy at her baptism in May.